Blue Blob Consumes Spotville as Giant Dog Wags Tail
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FindYourSpot Service Rescues Displaced Hordes
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Cleaning Products for Floating Green Circles
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By Tong N. Cheek
Special to The Tribune-Herald-Times-Sentinel-Star Daily Picayune
SPOTVILLE, NW - A giant blob of blue consumed Spotville today, sending local citizens scrambling to find the best place to live. "We can't live here anymore," lamented one local parent. "We'd just be blue all the time."
Many resourceful, independent locals are turning to Find Your Spot, a relocation service that provides places rated for individuals according to a fun quiz of personal preferences in areas like weather, culture, cost of living, local economies and education.
"I just plum can't decide without this here wonderful city finder service," said Sid E. Search, formerly of Spotville. "I want to find the best place to retire, the best place for a family. I need a relocation calculator like FindYourSpot for that kind of momentous decision."
Others echoed Search's feelings. "I've seen those lists of the 25 best places to live," said Dee Best of D. Best Town & Country Real Estate. "Money magazine's 'best places to live' list doesn't have the small towns and safe places to live that I want. It's just the best big cities. That's the top for some folks, but I just want a good home town. Find Your Spot even helps me with my job search."
FindYourSpot's job listings are targeted by city and/or town, allowing visitors to consider their careers when looking for their personal best place to live and work. This allows people to find the best place to work in and the best job at the same time.
What is the best place to live in America, anyway? "There is no absolute best place in the United States," said Bess Tplaice, a career quiz analyst and croquet professional. "I recommend places to live based on my favorite activities and budget. My top city may be another person's worst place to live. Who knows." Tplaice is planning a move to a sunny place to live with great jobs and no blue blobs.
Spotville's one beacon of hope was a giant dog whose happy tail wagging brought occasional breaths of fresh air to the intrepid few who remained behind in town. "I don't make moving plans for big globs of color," said Fine DerPlacenliven. The pervicacious Dane is still in his great house on Main Street. "My favorite place to live is Spotville, and no research cities or city report is going to convince me otherwise. Relocation is not my bailiwick, but no stripling website could help me find a place to live. Pah. I always knew computers were trouble."
As if to add insult to injury, the giant blue blob spawned green Top Spots that floated over the great town, taunting locals with offers of city information and relocation assistance. Many local housewives attempted to use various detergents and pre-treating stain removers to remedy the situation in a bizarre circus of Lady Macbeth mimicry. Moving experts believe the only solution is to click.
Spotville may no longer be the best place to live, but FindYourSpot has the best places to live for individual people. Their fun quizzes lead to city reports and city guides for every city and town on your top places to live list. Click here to try the Find Your Spot quiz.
This reporter is moving to Tulsa.
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